the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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