I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I met the friendliest cop last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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