his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
