I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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