Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize