Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
