I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
