I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
