I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
