Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
