Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
