And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
