do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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