You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
