guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
