He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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