I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
