I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
