did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
