Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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