I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
