Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
