I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
