People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
