I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
