I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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