I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do vagina's smell?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize