what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
