i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
MIDGETS
????
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
