I CAN MOONWALK!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
