Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize