Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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