We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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