and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
