She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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