Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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