My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
