i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I need a burrito and a hug.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
