So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the condom got lost in my hair
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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