I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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