why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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