I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
