I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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