Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize