nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize