There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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