Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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