Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that's an acceptable place to lick
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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