Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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