Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
