these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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