I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
