he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
