Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
