Buhtt sex?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
