how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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