It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
