There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
