wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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